{RANT} Demanding Vs. Commanding Respect: What's The Difference?

This blog was originally published on Xanga April 4, 2013.

 

Hey there my fellow Xangans! Sorry about not publishing another blog this entire week. 

I have been doing the usual job hunting, talking to other friends, "spring cleaning," and catching up on more Anime, which has been long overdue.  

In fact, earlier this week, I marathoned an Anime, that was released last year in Japan called, Another. It was pretty decent.

Often compared to the American Horror franchise, Final Destination, Another is a Horror Mystery Anime. Unlike High School Of The Dead and Deadman Wonderland, watching Another was much better than watching those 2 series. 

Anyway, I digress. That's not what I really meant to discuss in today's blog. Lately, I've been doing some thinking. I have noticed a number of divos and divas believing, that they can demand respect from everyone. These "divos" and "divas" are typically defiant people with huge ego trips and have a great sense of entitlement. 

We will often hear them tell us, "You just need to respect the fact, that...," "You don't know me! Show some respect!," "Respect my authority!" blah, blah, BLAH!

These are also some of the same eternal victims, who believe their lives and life experiences are so much worse than everybody else', and that nobody shares the same adversities, if not MORE than them. While demanding RESPECT, they want everyone to throw them a damn pity party.

In case these defiant and entitled divos and divas never got the memo, it doesn't quite work that way. 

Every time defiant and entitled divos and divas DEMAND respect from everybody, people like myself roll our eyes and ask ourselves, "Wait, so this person thinks I'm suppose to respect him/her because he/she says so? HA! Whatever!"

I look at it this way. If this divo/diva is not my parent, teacher, professor, boss, etc, who I DEPEND on for something, why the hell do I have to respect him/her?

Defiant and entitled divos and divas randomly demanding respect out of someone is like a damn toddler throwing a temper tantrum simply because he/she did not get his/her way.

If these people want respect so badly, they should not be begging and demanding it, while acting defiantly. Sometimes it worsens, when another person tries giving that same defiant divo/diva advice. He/she begins to assume, that EVERYBODY is trying to control him/her and start demanding respect. This somewhat goes back to people, who can't handle constructive criticism.

If these divos and divas can't handle any advice, the only other option is to sit back in the recliner chair and let them make bigger fools out themselves. If that same defiant brat wants to stick his/her finger into a plug outlet and take the risk of electrocution, I say let that brat have at it.

However, that defiant brat must remember once he/she gets electrocuted, he/she shouldn't whine about it and demand for everyone to respect him/her afterward.

If they want respect, it needs to be COMMANDED by walking in their talk. Respect must be earned by showing he/she is worthy of being respected.

Self-centered attention whores, protesters, rioters, hardcore feminists, political and religious zealots, sluts, womanizers, perpetual liars, procrastinators, photo bombers, cheap talkers, eternal "victims," serial daters, brides, and grooms, etc, etc. should be the LAST  to demand anybody's respect.

Genuinely show us WHY we should respect you WITHOUT begging and demanding for everyone to respect you like an entitled, spoiled brat. Everyone does not have to like each other, in order to respect each other.

There are those, who will say, "I don't like so-and-so, but I respect so-and-so for what he/she's doing." People can secretly admire that person for his/her actions. That's a way of EARNING respect. 

If that person takes action by walking in his/her talk, he/she deserves admiration and respect because that person EARNED it. If I say I am going to do something, I almost always follow through with it because I made it a priority to get the task done WELL. 

When the task is done well, I deserve respect and admiration WITHOUT desperately seeking validation for it.

We are all human and make mistakes and bad choices. Although, I have yet to demand for everyone in the whole world to respect me.

What's With People Who Can't Handle Constructive Criticism?

This blog was originally published on Xanga January 21, 2013.

 

There are different types of criticisms, that exists. Constructive criticism is only 1 example. As I already mentioned in my latest Pulse, I am bringing up the topic of people, who can't handle constructive criticism.

Constructive criticism is not about trying to insult something or someone. It is about giving both positive and negative feedback.. Negative feedback regarding constructive criticism is about spending time correcting errors.

In a way, this can somewhat apply to the increasing amount of Facebook narcissism. Most narcissists, who currently use that site are entitled, spoiled brats. They expect everybody to constantly agree with them like good Yes Men and Women (also known as SYCOPHANTS), by constantly clicking the "Like" button and praising them ad nauseam. Being a sycophant can actually do more damage than good sometimes. 

Whenever someone interacts with somebody, who disagrees and dislikes with what he/she said or did, he/she starts throwing a tantrums like a toddler in his/her terrible 2's.

Whenever I took an Art and Creative Writing Classes in both high school and college, "workshopping" was ALWAYS a requirement; Each student had to critique by giving positive and negative feedback about another classmate's work.

If we disliked someone's poem or story, we had to explain our reason(s) for WHY we disliked it without insulting that classmate and his/her work; We had to detail what needed to be inserted, revised, removed, or expanded without insulting the person and his/her work. The same format most definitely applied to Art projects being critiqued. 

Sure, there were some very rude people (especially rude classmates), but we encounter rude people everyday in society. That's just a part of life.

People, who can't handle constructive criticism typically become extremely defensive and start attacking other people like Cujo. You know the rabid dog from Stephen King's Horror novel and film?

Whenever we encounter those types of people, they usually have anger management issues, a major inferiority complex, and they are viewed as being unapproachable.

Based on my personal experiences with some people, they are usually defensive because they're used to most people destroying their confidence. Therefore, they go into Cujo Mode, as a defense mechanism. Otherwise, there are those entitled divos and divas.

Those of that ilk with hypersensitivity must realize, that in the real world, they are not always going to get their way. Therefore, they should not expect for everyone to tiptoe around them.

How will they learn anything, if they expect everyone to constantly act like tiptoeing sycophants by praising them every nano second?

If people can't handle constructive criticism, they'll never change for the better. Not only that, but these types of people will also repel other people from them. They are normally viewed as being unapproachable.

In addition, some of the biggest nitpickers cannot handle constructive criticism. Ever hear the saying, "You can dish it out but can't take it"? Nitpickers are normally in that category.

I socially distance myself from hypersensitive people and nitpickers. I don't have the time and patience to praise Cujo by giving him a doggie treat, when he has done something wrong. I'm not an enabler. 

I will provide my personal support and opinion, however I refuse to be someone's designated enabler. This especially applies to providing constructive criticism.

Whenever I encounter butt hurt people desperately in need of coddling, I wash my hands of them. Sounds harsh but life is harsh. Everything in life is never going to be and never has been a "Kumbaya" sing-along.

Sir Thomas Moore's Utopian Communist Philosophy, "Land of Utopia" always was and still is a total crock of bullshit. That's all the more reason why I named my chapbook, "It's Not All Bunnies And Sunshine."

In the meantime, what are your thoughts?