Will Cartoon Network & Adult Swim Ever Get Their Anime Programming Right?

This blog was originally published on Xanga May 17, 2013.

How's it going my Xangan friends, viewers, and subscribers! I hope all is well on your end. This past week, I have been rather silent. 

I was busy celebrating Mother's Day with my grandmother, mother, and aunts, chatting with other friends, job hunting, and blocking creepers on social media. I always love those men, who get butt-hurt because I REFUSE to send them any nudie pics or have cyber sex with them. I don't understand these men. Do they really think I'm going to lay them via computer screen? Talk about thirsties. 

Maybe my next blog will be about thirsty people on social media. If you don't know what I mean by "thirsty," that's slang for "desperate."

Anyway, I have been reading and hearing about Adult Swim airing MORE snooze worthy shows to their programming. The network chose to acquire Bob's Burgers and One Piece. Oh joy, oh joy. Those are 2 more shows, that I DON'T watch. 

I don't think too many Adult Swim viewers are rejoicing over Adult Swim acquiring both shows, especially Bob's Burgers. Bob's Burgers should've been canceled. 

A while ago, I read that Fox was canceling The Cleveland Show yet Bob's Burgers was being renewed. WHY?

If you ask me, Fox should've canceled both cartoons and brought back Sit Down, Shut Up. At least that cartoon was funny.

One Piece on the other hand, I have never gotten into that Shonen Jump Action Anime. From what I have been seeing and hearing, the One Piece's English Dubs have a lot of infighting within their fandom. 

According to what I have been told, fans are divided because there are 2 different English Dubs. There is a 4Kids English Dub, which is highly censored and dumbed down and then there's the Funimation Entertainment Dub, which is for the more mature audience. 

There is also the fact, that Adult Swim is airing Funimation's English Dub of One Piece and they are premiering it at episode 207, if I'm correct. Even though I'm not a One Piece fan, I think it is idiotic on Adult Swim's part to air an Anime for their fans and potential fans midway into a series. By Adult Swim premiering a show that high in episodes, they are automatically excluding potential fans and not all of their original fans remember everything, that happened years ago. 

Cartoon Network's Toonami canceled One Piece, years ago. Some diehard fans will argue, that potential fans can stream the old episodes online or buy the DVD/Blu-rays. However, everyone does not have the time, money, and patience to marathon EVERY One Piece episode. I get the impression that Adult Swim does not want to fully invest in the One Piece viewers. Then again, what am I talking about? 

Cartoon Network and Adult Swim as a whole, don't invest too much into anything their viewers want to watch. They have already excluded the female demographic completely these last several years, and they most definitely ignore their MALE demographic, which they claim to be targeting. 

I love how so many duped Toonami sycophants have been jizzing their Spider-Man underpants over the "Toonami" block and One Piece returning EXCEPT this time on Adult Swim. 

Like I already said in my March 15th blog regarding Cartoon Network and Adult Swim being sexist, their animation fans are being so highly misrepresented. It's completely understandable, that they cannot attract every American viewer.

Although, Cartoon Network and Adult Swim put forth very little effort to satisfy most of their viewers. I miss the old days, when BOTH networks aired animation for both genders with different animated genres and sub-genres everyday and night. 

Then again, Adult Swim was always a Man-Children Only Club WITHOUT overtly saying so.

Now, every night is mostly terrible Comedies with 1/2 those shows being low IQ'ed, Live Action Comedies, and late Saturday nights are devoted to Action Anime. Both networks used to air Anime on a nightly basis. 

Now, they have condensed their Anime lineup to ONLY late Saturday nights and early Sunday mornings. 

To make matters worse, the very few Anime they air consists of a Shonen Jump Action Anime block and overly syndicated Adult Swim Anime circa 2001. 

Since Adult Swim is so determined to premiere Shonen Jump Action Anime every Saturday night, why don't they remove "Toonami" from their branding and rename it "The Shonen Jump Block" or something similar? 

After all, it's evident that Adult Swim does NOT  want to air any other Anime genre and Anime from other publications. They could BUT  they don't want to because making excuses is more suitable for them. 

Since Adult Swim claims to be so "lowly funded" *sneeze* (I'm allergic to bullshit), I would remove all those overly syndicated Frat Boy Comedies from their Saturday night programming and make it Anime Night. 

Then, all those nostalgic, Toonami crybabies can watch all their old Anime earlier in the evening. By the time of 10 pm Central, I would air:

10:00 PM Special A

10:30 PM Naruto Shippuden

11:00 PM Bleach

11:30 PM School Rumble

12:00 AM Kaicho Wa Maid-Sama

12:30 AM Vampire Knight

1:00 AM Jigoku Shojo (Hell Girl)

1:30 AM Hellsing

2:00 AM Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)

2:30 AM Beelzebub

3:00 AM Repeat schedule from 10 pm

With the preceding schedule I created, Adult Swim COULD have a late Saturday night/early Sunday morning block; It could be an Anime Variety Block. 

For teenagers and adults of both genders, I selected Anime consisting of Comedy, Action, and Horror. Therefore, anyone from both genders could watch these shows, if they wanted. 

I created the schedule in this format because by the time of 1 AM, the shows have more violence and sexual content in them. 

Adult Swim doesn't necessarily have to air these EXACT shows. At the same time, they could at least try to follow a similar format, if they have to limit their Anime viewers to only late Saturday nights. 

Then again, the idiots in charge of Adult Swim aren't that clever. Well, at least we can dream, right?

So Anime fans, with this schedule I made, what are your thoughts?